When we hear someone, especially someone we know well, describe a dream they’ve had, it’s tempting to think we might know what the dream means. We may get a strong urge to interpret it for them. This is particularly true for me since people know I work with dreams and therefore assume I interpret them. Often, I even get asked to interpret their dreams!
The truth is no one can interpret another person’s dream – no matter how tempting or certain we may be about that dream. I readily tell people I don’t interpret dreams. Instead, I give people the tools to interpret their own dreams and tools to listen to dreams in a truly helpful and supportive manner that doesn’t interpret dreams for someone else. The following is an example of a dream and tips of how to listen to it, minus interpretation.
Dream Being Described:
I leave my house and walk into a strange building next door. I walk in to see many people standing in the dark. Some people seem to be stuck where they are standing.
How to Listen to a Dream
- When someone else is describing their dream it is important to hear everything being said. Let them finish without interrupting unless there is a need to clarify something. In this case, the listener might ask if “my house” refers to a real house the dreamer has lived in or is living in, or is it a house in dreamtime?
- At the end of the dream narration, the listener may ask the dreamer to describe in more detail anything that needs fleshing out. For example, the “strange building” is a symbol loaded with potential feeling. The listener could ask what feelings are associated with the dream and/or the building: fear, fascination, repulsion, etc., and then ask the dreamer to describe the feelings and why the dreamer might have those feelings. Another listener may ask what the “stuck people” might mean to the dreamer. These kinds of helpful questions will get the dreamer closer to the dream so that deep insight might arise. In no case should the listener say something like, “The stuck people stand for people in your life who are going nowhere and are holding you back.” This makes a huge assumption about the dreamer which may be wrong. The listener may indeed be projecting a problem of his or her own onto the dreamer.
- However, the listener may say, “If it were my dream, the stuck people make me think of how my relationships often feel stuck, not going anywhere,” or “The stuck people make me realize I have many parts of myself that feel stuck, not going anywhere.” Giving a statement like this allows the dreamer to digest the listener’s point of view without feeling threatened or judged. The statement may indeed be true for the dreamer, and if it is, may be insightful to the dreamer in a non-threatening manner. For one thing, the honesty of the listener may free up the dreamer to be honest about a meaning if it is hard to take— should it be the true meaning for the dreamer. If the dream has another meaning for the dreamer, the comment may hold true for other persons listening to the dream, and give them added insight into themselves.
To learn more about dreams, visit my website: http://www.healingdreamgarden.com.